Saturday, November 23, 2013

Today, Christmas is on MY List

Oh man, I forgot how awful it is to put up the Christmas tree.  Seriously, every year I forget, and every year, it is the most frustrating, irritating, expletive inducing activity imaginable.  And it isn't supposed to be!  I did everything right to make it a simple, foolproof experience!  The first year we had this tree (artificial, for many reasons), I strung the lights on each individual section so that it could be dissembled with the lights still attached, requiring no light rigging the following year.  Ha.  I'm pretty sure no year has gone by that a strand hasn't gone dead in the ensuing 11 months, or half dead, which is surprisingly worse.  But I persevere.  I get that thing up, with 3 pairs of eyes watching me since there really isn't anything they can do to help.  This is why the actual decoration happens with my good friend, wine.

Today, we pulled out the tree and decoration bins because this is the only day we have to do it before a) the weather turns to sleet and freezing rain (or worse), and b) I need to do the actual decoration for our Thanksgiving party on Saturday next.  Then Chris took the kids to Toys R Us (we are both insane but in different ways) and I went about my afternoon, making dinner and such.  But then a thought popped into my head - what if I assembled the tree today, when I have time, instead of Wednesday, which will surely be so much busier? Am brilliant!

Yeah.  So the first section worked with no problem, and then the second section had some non-functioning lights.  Sigh.  Well, at least I had an extra strand in the tree bag ready to go.  Oh!  But then the lights started working!  Hooray!  On to section three!

There was another stretch of dead lights.  Nope, I couldn't make them magically light up like the last ones, so I proceeded to take off the offending strand.  And it just so happened to be a half dead strand, which irks me royally (I hate having to toss the working half, but I am not going through dozens of bulbs to find out what is and isn't working).  On with the new.  I really needed an extra set of hands, so I had to wait until Chris and the kids came back., and we all had dinner.

It only took me two tries to get the lights strung properly (grr), and then section three was done.  One section left.  I lifted that puppy up, and as the branches fell limp in my hand, I discovered that the supporting structure had completely disintegrated.  Peace and joy, my Aunt Fanny.

After a short breakdown (during which my family fled the scene in horror), I busted out the duct tape, super glue, and wire ties, and MacGyvered that bad boy into place.  It's up, my little redneck Christmas tree.  Hopefully, it will stay that way for the next several weeks.

In the meantime, if you see Hobby Lobby start to deep discount their holiday stuff, please give me a shout.  I think I'm in the market for a new tree next year.  Now, where's my wine?


  1. Check Home Depot and Lowes on Black Friday for tree deals! They are usually half off for nice (prelit) trees.

    1. Good idea. Even though I think this tree will make it one last season, I'm suddenly feeling an immediate need to have the replacement as soon as humanly possible. Thanks!

  2. I bought mine from Lowe's on Cyber Monday, strangely enough. Delivered to my house, it was lovely.

    This year for some reason we have a very small section that has a slow blink and we've replaced none of the bulbs so I don't know why. I haven't decided if I care yet, even though it's in a very conspicuous (eye-level) place on the tree.