I feel like I’m struggling today. Well, I feel like that most days, but perhaps a little bit more than usual today, and I’m not exactly sure why. I should be feeling smug that I organized all the Christmas gifts thus far purchased and even wrapped some (not that I don’t have far to go, so this is something of an accomplishment). Or maybe relieved because the online shipment that seemingly did not exist last night actually showed up on my doorstep this afternoon. Or pleased that I finally remembered to ask Sabrina’s teacher when her holiday program is.
But I’m just feeling kind of blah. I got dinner on the table, but 1 out of 2 kids turned a nose up at it. Sabrina’s teacher asked if she was feeling alright, which is code for she was a beast today. That’s certainly what I’ve seen since she got home, and I haven’t been handling that with anything near grace. I snapped at Sammy when he couldn’t concentrate while doing homework and wasn’t trying to answer the questions. My pile of things to do is growing faster than I can get to them. And the house is already looking dirty in places despite a thorough cleaning just last week. All I can see is the grey.
So we’re watching Snoopy Christmas (I know this isn’t the actual title, but that’s how I think of it) and I’ll try to regroup for tomorrow. I think I’m at my Charlie Browniest tonight.