This morning, when my dad was here picking up Sammy for their grandpa-grandson day of frivolity, he told me that as part of Lent, I should do something that makes me happy. This struck me because the whole concept of Lent is built around sacrifice, and at first, that didn’t sound very sacrificial to me. When talking about Lent, most people mention something they give up individually for Lent, chocolate, going out to dinner, television – usually some luxury that you can do without but don’t particularly like to. And that’s on top of the whole no meat on Fridays thing. So that’s all about forgoing things that make you happy, not the other way around.
But it got me thinking, about what he meant and why he said it. I can’t deny that it’s been a rough few months, and I wouldn’t describe myself as happy most of the time. I’m sure pretty much everyone I know would probably agree with me to some extent. It’s a vicious cycle in my head, feeling, well, unhappy, for lack of a better word (I’m always looking for that elusive better word), worrying that being around me is making other people miserable, feeling even worse about making other people miserable, lather, rinse, repeat. I know Dad is one of those people picking up on that, and he’s trying to make me feel better. Or rather, help me feel better. Because he’s not the one operating the switches and levers in my brain. He’s telling me to work the vicious cycle in reverse.
Doing something to make myself happy doesn’t have to be decadent, so I won’t be working my way through a box of chocolates every night (although wouldn’t it be awesome to just strap a Russell Stovers box to my chest and go to town?). But if can find a little something that makes me smile for a minute, it’ll be that much easier to deal with all the other minutes. And maybe I’ll be easier to deal with as a result. Don’t laugh. I’m not going to be Mary Sunshine tomorrow, but then again, most of you aren’t either. Now don’t be heading off to the Social Security office to change your name and prove me wrong, OK?
My plan is to write something here 5 days a week, with the option for more. It can be a challenge to find the time, and more often, a coherent subject. While I always think what I write can be much better, I do get a little tingle whenever I hit the publish button, so it can’t be too bad to do that with a greater frequency. And it’s not a bad habit to acquire anyway, and I can’t gain weight by typing (double points). At the same time, I’d like to thinking I’m giving back by providing some entertainment (OK, entertainment may be a stretch, but then again watching my sanity quickly crumble through intense navel gazing) or at least activity to whoever reads my claptrap. No? Them’s the breaks, I suppose.
So, Day 1. Done. I have no idea what I should write next, but I’ll come up with something. Even if it’s 6 straight weeks of every meme I can find on the internet.
I’m still gonna hedge my bet and give up ice cream, too. Care to place a bet on which one I’ll cave first?