Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Welcome to 10 Years Ago!

I got a smartphone.

You're thinking, pfft, big deal, I get a new smartphone every time my contract renews, blah, blah, big deal.

But no, this is a big deal.  It's my first smartphone.

I'll give you a moment to stop laughing.

I like to think of myself as current, up to date, one with the new-fangled gizmos.  I love technology - we have several tablets, multiple computery devices, and high speed internet.  But then I remember that I'm mostly a crotchety old lady who would prefer it if you stay off my lawn.  I have to face the facts that my children probably know more than I do about the latest technology, or at least we're coming to that crossroads very, very soon, and there's no turning back.  But that's as it should be.  One day, they will be exasperatedly trying to explain how their new hover board works, and I'll be all, back in the day, we had to use our legs to get from place to place, and that's the correct order of things.  Doesn't mean I won't appreciate new things (where is my jet pack already).

You totally want to pat my head and say, Sweetie, the smartphone is not a new thing, don't you?  And you would be absolutely correct.  I admit I have be stubbornly hanging onto the notion that I could get by in this day and age without one, but that's only part of the equation.  I am also unbearably cheap and didn't want to pay for it.  This is news to exactly nobody: I hate spending money.  Aren't you glad you're not married to me?

However, I have coveted a smartphone for years.  I just couldn't pull the trigger.  I had a super cheap cell phone that did the bare minimum.  I had a small tablet I could keep in my purse and use whenever I needed it.  I even had an iPod I could slip in a pocket to use as a camera.  Didn't all these things do the job of a smartphone.  Well, yes.  And not exactly.  And it all made my purse really heavy.  Plus, it got really annoying watching my dad upgrade to the latest phone over and over and use it as... a phone and not much else.  I knew I could do I better job as a smartphone owner. (Hi, Dad! Love you!)

What was the breaking point?  If I have to pick an impetus, I would say it's an upcoming excursion in which 14 of my closest family members will be traveling together and need to be able to find one another when we're spread out doing various and sundry things.  But that's just part of the picture.  As my kids grow and get more involved at school and in extracurricular activities, so am I.  And how does the school communicate?  How do the other parents communicate?  Through texts and tweets and status updates that I apparently need to read (in the midst of all the other detritus on the internet) (including this) (but certainly not including you - you are the most important part of the internet, yes and truly).  I've been missing out and falling behind.  Do you know how much easier  smartphone would have made my being Girl Scout cookie mom? (Yes, I was cookie mom.  Or rather, Cookie Czar, if you please.)  Soooo much easier. 

And so, after much exhaustive research (exhaustive for my husband who was so tired of my hemming and hawing), I bit the bullet and got my own handy dandy handheld talking computer machine.  And for grins, old Hub got one, too.  Now I can pester him with texts and pictures all the live long day.  Aren't you glad now, Chris?

If you've made it this far, I hope you're at least giving me a slow clap for finally joining this century.  Heck, I give one to myself.  My super power is procrastination.

That said, I'm on the lookout for text buddies.  I'm pretty sure my husband will figure out he can turn off his phone pretty quickly and I'll be out of luck.

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