Thank you for the frappuccino. You pioneered not only the selling of extravagantly-priced coffee on every street corner, but also the turning of said coffee into a high octane milkshake substitute with a siren song of sugar and POWER. Your mad genius concocted a beverage even professed non-coffee drinkers will suck down with abandon.
Thank you for your spot on marketing team that decided to put said beverage ON SALE. For a week. During a time of day when I can leave the kids with their dad and enjoy your hipster ambiance without telling someone to stop touching things. (OK, so I went to a counter in the grocery store. But still, that’s just because I am far from hip.)
Thank you for appealing to my exhaustion, my sweet tooth, and my manic frugality all at once. You are the master. See you tomorrow.
Love,
Julie
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