Waiting for the Locusts

Let’s just do this in bullet form, OK?

• Entering Week 3 of no water in the house. The sprinkler system persists in leaking no matter what we do (and we’ve tried oh so many things), and since we can’t seem to turn off water to the sprinkler system separately from the house, we have to turn off everything in keep our water bill from going into Best Customer Ever territory. We turn it off for specific needs such as showers and baths (I draw the line at all stinky all the time), but it makes things like cleaning up after breakfast a bit of a challenge. I can handle it, but it’s getting old. Sprinkler Guy wants a couple hundred bucks to fix it, but Dad says he can do it for a tenth of that when he gets back from vacation. I’ll go with that option first, so I’ll trudge along until then.
  
• Sammy fell at the park, apparently on his right elbow, and has been favoring his left ever since. He can still shake hands and use a spoon and so forth, and he seems to be regaining mobility continuously, so I’m thinking it was a good jarring or maybe a sprain. Poor guy. I’m keeping a watch on it and bugging him to death with questions, so if I need to take him to the doctor, I will. His teachers didn’t see a real issue, though.
  
• As I was leaving to pick Sammy up at school, the garage door went halfway up and then slammed hard. Trapping my car inside. Sabrina and I scrambled to (literally) run up to school and get him. After some fiddling (technical term), the opener started smoking. We managed to get the cars out so we can use them, but I’m now looking up garage door openers online. Guess how much they cost? A couple hundred bucks. Coincidence?
  We’re not even going to talk about what’s happening to out health insurance. Moving on…
  
• As we were messing with the garage door opener, Sabrina BIT THROUGH a can of Dr. Pepper and sprayed it all over the kitchen.
  
• The computer still does not acknowledge that there is a CD drive in it. Even though I am looking right at it. It’s there, really. Accept it and give me access!
  
• The soda biter? Yeah, won’t take more than a half hour nap. All day long. She’s so pleasant in the evening.
  
• OK, I’m dressing myself. We’ll just stop right there for now.
  
  At this point, I’m afraid to even switch on a light. I believe this calls for a bottle of wine. Which I will be opening in the backyard in case it decides to explode or something.